Caring

My stroked mind is brought to attention on asking why are there some people who pretend they care but in reality they don’t. Once stripped of the earthly drappings, true colors will come.

It has always been that way, the way I see it. The real soul intent of an individual emerges in uncompromising situations. There are times that they are obvious and at times not. The best way for us to be ready for it is that we shouldn’t expect too much. Expecting too much somehow lowers our self-dependency.

Another way to ready ourselves is the other way around. Expect the worst. It may sound funny but preparedness to a person’s motive or agenda is best done in this way. Expecting per se is lessened for what is readied upon is the worst.

More saddening is the people close to you are the ones responsible for this kind of unwanted attitude. All my stroked being could do to those I mentioned is pray.

Guilt

Among the queries I posted earlier, the thing that played in my mind was: why is too much, bad? Economics would rectify this through the law of diminishing returns. Other great minds have their own ways of explaining it, but I think that it all comes down to guilt. The meaning of guilt and our notions of it would tell us how it fares. Overstatements sometimes destroy the definition of guilt. What is guilt is at times co-existent with conscience or judgement.

The answer to the question above lies on our own definition and what is guilt to us. It depends on how we weigh things as they happen. Not everything that’s too much is bad. It is our guilt that tells us if it’s good nor bad. 

Nightmare

Compared to what I am right now is way far out different. The sudden change in my physical appearance was dreadful in a way. Before, I play basketball, do fairly in table tennis, doing well in swimming, and do know how to play various musical instruments such the guitar, keyboards and the drums.  It is quite alarming that someone who’s active as me suffer stroke.

Well aside from those, there’s another side of the coin that triggered the stroke. This are not forms of arrogance but I stupidly did these. I consume 3 packs of not lights but red cigarettes a day. The number of packs increases each time there’s a ‘drinking session’. I don’t know but I seem to run out of alcohol that I tend to crave for more. These sessions of mine runs almost every day. So hooked that it doesn’t matter what are we drinking – beer, brandy, whiskey or vodka. As long as I am soaked with the spirit, I don’t care.

The worship and love for food is another matter. To some, ‘’eat’’, but to me, ‘’devour’’. What are 4 extra rice every meal? I don’t mind the dangers of fatty foods, unwanted excessive calories and carbohydrates as long as I'm full and satisfied.

Now, it’s everything but a finished phase in my life that never would I try one more time. It was really a hard earned lesson in life.