My consciousness is still down and towardness to others is still clouded with grieving. Grief stages that I undergo seem so deep for my recovery from loss turns to fear. The fear of being alone, unaided, unguided and unmonitored trough the caring arms that was once displayed unreluctantly by my grandma.
My grieving and the grief recovery will be soon over I know but it’s not easy letting go of the memories of her. Recovery from loss sometimes delusions me wanting to turn back the hands time so grieving and grief stages wouldn’t come into existence.
Spending that needed time with the people you love now would be the best thing. Don’t wait for that dreadful event-death to completely alienate you and bother you with guilt. We don’t want our minds be swarmed with pain and regrets that could alleviate grieving.
For me, my grieving will only stop if I will dream of her smiling and laughing at my silly jokes, like I used to.