July 7, 2012


Accepting the reality was objectionable on my part. Being able to succumb to the instances, swallowing the pride and appreciating what was left parted at me unguardedly. It was a big deal for me not being able to do what I used to. My movements were limited as they are bothered by muscle spasticity.  Numbness coupled with pain is what’s best to describe it. Lifting and stretching a leg felt like lifting a heavy boulder. I am now married to my wheelchair and my canes. What I am right now is also caused by the motivation and care of people who pushed me harder and helped me realize that there is hope. All I have to do is formulate a frame of mind that this stroke is just a wake-up call in my current wrongdoings in life.  I gradually learned to accept and appreciate the minute things in life. Looking for my purpose is the next thing, but I know it will come eventually.     

July 6, 2012

Reality check

Applying to what is said to be done to battle depression is like reaching a point through an endless tunnel. I being idle, traduced and damaged relied heavily on sole thing that was left clinging in my mind – faith. To believe in yourself and in everything you do in a situation like mine is considered a miracle. It is only faith that wakes me up each morning. It pushes me to stand, walk, laugh and cry just any normal human being. Last time I was watching a NatGeo documentary about bizarre personalities, those with Turrets, Trichotillomania, Necrolepsy and Autism presented in a more humane way and how the modern society perceives them. Seeing those was an eye-opener for me knowing what you can achieve under extreme circumstances. It gave me more hope, inspiration and a renewed faith under a gloomy sky. I saw a more concrete and profound goal in life.

July 5, 2012


A quiet, relaxed and easy listening music videos from Bruno Mars and John Legend. It chills and taps your appreciation of life and how beautiful it can be. Songs that show human existence alone brings hope.


I’ve seen it, read about it and felt it. I would say that it is the aftermath or the aftershock of stroke. As a stroke survivor, the manner of how to go dealing with it largely foreshadow your future as someone whose willingness and strong drive emancipates. But for those slaved by it, it cries the needed support and guidance from family and friends. Depression it is.

It is described as ‘’a mental condition in which people feel extremely sad and lose interest in life.’’ People with depression may also have sleep problems and loss of appetite, and may have trouble concentrating and carrying out everyday activities. This type of human behaviour is commonly felt by those who suffered stroke. It affects and even tries to dominate one’s life. Depression per se and symptoms of depression, I guess.

It dawned on me making me think that I’m hopeless. That everything I had is gone – career, friends, plans in life and everything tangible in my memory. My physical attributes, my self-esteem and my faith were endangered by depression. As a stroke patient, sometimes I wish I was dead so I won’t prolong this misery of mine. Winning over it is very hard. You have to accept and swallow everything. Like ending and coping up in a relationship, you need to move on. Miserable it may seem, but you have to build a new and optimistic view in life relative to your present condition. 


Having known that lifestyle dramatically matters much on people having a stroke, there can be no possible way but consider changing it. I know that it’s easier said than done. Some may take it lightly, some would ignore it. Giving it a try can absolutely garner you healthy prizes in return. It’s true that we can never learn enough on one thing unless we, ourselves experience it. But it is entirely different in this case. We don’t want to be caught in a place where ‘’it’s too late’’. Hard it is but worthy in the end.

The risk of stroke can be reduced through lifestyle changes:

• stop smoking
• control blood pressure
• get regular exercise
• keep body weight down
• avoid excessive alcohol consumption
• get regular checkups and follow the doctor’s advice regarding diet and medicines

Changing the same gets you more focused and develops a more optimistic view in life. Longevity in life prolongs. 


fate has its unique way...

July 4, 2012


...give it!


As said by medical experts and concerned individuals, that prevention is the best answer to all worries and illnesses. But what are the specific risks factors concerning that fearful and apostate stroke? Knowing them could save us a fortune, precious time, our lives and those of our loved-ones. Studies have revealed the following as contributing risk factors:
  • Age & Sex – stroke tends to attack on older people. Those aged 55 or above are more prone to stroke although recent studies show terrifying conclusion that the age bracket widens, meaning anyone as early as 20 can be a candidate for stroke. Men are more likely to have a stroke than women. It’s maybe caused by- you guessed it right,
  • Lifestyle choices – those who are more stressed, uncontrollable consumption of alcohol, food (obesity) or drugs (cocaine and other intravenous kind) and smoking.
  • Diseases – those who have diabetes, high blood pressure and other heart ailments has a greater risk of having a stroke.
  • Heredity – well its maybe true that it really ‘runs in the blood’, a family history of stroke and heart problems targets a high possibility of having one. Studies show that Hispanics, Blacks and Asians have higher rates of having a stroke because related partly of them having high blood pressures than white people.

There are risks that are unavoidable and there are those that we can. It’s never too late to get a hold and control of these risks.

July 3, 2012

say 'cheese'...

I was able to raise a child whose potential in basic photography exudes. Her goal is to be a broadcaster and let herself dive into its rewarding realm. Her mom bought her a camera and a test photo spree she went with her mates. Here are bits of their neophyte shots:

the culprit...


While I was waiting to go back to my usual self, I managed to learn deeply various elements of what I’m presently engaged at and currently suffers from. Through some research on the internet and medical books, I have found out that stroke statistics would present that,

• more than half a million people in the United States experience a new or recurrent stroke each year;
• stroke is the third leading cause of death in the United States and the leading cause of disability;
• stroke kills about 150,000 Americans each year, or almost one out of three stroke victims;
• three million Americans are currently permanently disabled from stroke;
• in the United States, stroke costs about $30 billion per year in direct costs and loss of productivity;
• two-thirds of strokes occur in people over age 65;
• strokes affect men more often than women, although women are more likely to die from a stroke; and,
• strokes affect blacks more often than whites, and are more likely to be fatal among blacks.

I have also noted that this fatal illness is most likely to strike to Asians. Moreover, it is stated that a stroke occurs when blood flow is interrupted to part of the brain. Without blood to supply oxygen and nutrients and to remove waste products, brain cells quickly begin to die. Depending on the region of the brain affected, a stroke may cause paralysis, speech impairment, loss of memory and reasoning ability, coma, or death. A stroke is also sometimes called a brain attack.

Amongst are the clearer views of what are the types:

“There are four main types of stroke. Cerebral thrombosis and cerebral embolism are caused by blood clots that block an artery supplying the brain, either in the brain itself or in the neck. These account for 70–80% of all strokes. Subarachnoid hemorrhage and intracerebral hemorrhage occur when a blood vessel bursts around or in the brain. Cerebral thrombosis occurs when a blood clot, or thrombus, forms within the brain itself, blocking the flowof blood through the affected vessel. Clots most often form due to “hardening” (atherosclerosis) of brain arteries. Cerebral thrombosis occurs most often at night or early in the morning. Cerebral thrombosis is often preceded by a transient ischemic attack, or TIA, sometimes called a “mini-stroke.” In a TIA, blood flow is temporarily interrupted, causing short-lived stroke-like symptoms. Recognizing the occurrence of a TIA, and seeking immediate treatment, is an important step in stroke prevention. Cerebral embolism occurs when a blood clot from elsewhere in the circulatory system breaks free. If it becomes lodged in an artery supplying the brain, either in the brain or in the neck, it can cause a stroke. The most common cause of cerebral embolism is atrial fibrillation, a disorder of the heart beat. In atrial fibrillation, the upper chambers (atria) of the heart beat weakly and rapidly, instead of slowly and steadily. Blood within the atria is not completely emptied. This stagnant blood may form clots within the atria, which can then break off and enter the circulation. Atrial fibrillation is a factor in about 15% of all strokes. The risk of a stroke from atrial fibrillation can be dramatically reduced with daily use of anticoagulant medication.” (GALE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MEDICINE 2,-Stroke)

intracerebral hemorrhage 

And below classifies my stroke:

“Hemorrhage, or bleeding, occurs when a blood vessel breaks, either from trauma or excess internal pressure. The vessels most likely to break are those with pre-existing defects such as an aneurysm. An aneurysm is a “pouching out” of a blood vessel caused by a weak arterial wall. Brain aneurysms are surprisingly common.
x x x
Intracerebral hemorrhage affects vessels within the brain itself, while subarachnoid hemorrhage affects arteries at the brain’s surface, just below the protective arachnoid membrane. Intracerebral hemorrhages represent about 10% of all strokes, while subarachnoid haemorrhages account for about 7%.” (Ibid)

July 2, 2012

Wheel chair bursts

Is there such thing? Is it a produce of my eager but ‘stroked’ individuality? Maybe it was that blood clot that was previously jailed now freely and vastly flows inside my brain and ordinarily coasts along my heart. Hemorrhagic Stroke is what the doctors suspected. The sudden numbness on the left side of my body, which left me momentarily helpless, all pointed out on me having diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol level, triggered that fatal stroke. I have learned that stroke occurrences depend mainly on a person’s lifestyle and a speck of percentage of the inherited genes. What can thou say? It’s like getting laid by misfortunes.

    But the above did not stop my wicked ordeal. Depression slowly ascended my entirety. It crushed everything I had. My dreams felt like uncontrollable gush all turned into waste. Emotional, financial and even the spiritual factors all marched away from me. I was left closing my eyes thinking and sensing nothing. ‘’Nothingness if you wish’’, as I regretfully read that piece that was philosophically written by a classmate of mine way back then. It further urged me to give life another push. My seldom encounters with solitude whispered that it ain’t over ‘till it’s over. To assert something, another chance, is what I have. I’m not letting this God given gift slip away so even though I’m wheel chair bound, my inabilities would not stop me from bursting out my leftover capabilities. I’m down, but definitely, not out.