September 21, 2012


My stroked mind is brought to attention on asking why are there some people who pretend they care but in reality they don’t. Once stripped of the earthly drappings, true colors will come.

It has always been that way, the way I see it. The real soul intent of an individual emerges in uncompromising situations. There are times that they are obvious and at times not. The best way for us to be ready for it is that we shouldn’t expect too much. Expecting too much somehow lowers our self-dependency.

Another way to ready ourselves is the other way around. Expect the worst. It may sound funny but preparedness to a person’s motive or agenda is best done in this way. Expecting per se is lessened for what is readied upon is the worst.

More saddening is the people close to you are the ones responsible for this kind of unwanted attitude. All my stroked being could do to those I mentioned is pray.

Coffee, please - II

Here are some coffee recipes for you...

Alexander Espresso
Alexander Espresso


1 cup Cold water
2 tb Ground espresso coffee
½ Cinnamon stick (3" long)
4 ts Crème de Cacao
2 ts Brandy
2 tb Whipping cream, chilled
Grated semisweet chocolate to garnish

Break out your espresso machine for this one or just make really strong coffee with a small amount of water. Break cinnamon stick into small pieces and add to hot espresso. Allow to cool for 1 minute. Add crème de cacao and brandy, and stir gently. Pour into cute demitasse cups. Whip the cream, and float some cream on top of each cup. For looks, garnish with grated chocolate or fancy chocolate curls. Multiply proportions by six and it's perfect for a party. Serves 2.

Black Forest Coffee
Black Forest Coffee


6 oz Fresh brewed coffee
2 tb Chocolate syrup
1 tb Maraschino cherry juice
Whipped cream
Shaved chocolate/chips
Maraschino cherries

Combine coffee, chocolate syrup, and cherry juice in a cup; mix well. Top with whipped cream, chocolate shavings and a cherry.

Cajun Coffee
Cajun Coffee 


3 c Hot Strong Coffee
6 tb Molasses
6 tb Dark Rum (If Desired)
Whipped Cream
Nutmeg (Freshly Ground)

Combine coffee and molasses in a saucepan. Heat, stirring, until molasses is dissolved and coffee is very hot. Do not allow to boil. If desired place 1 Tbls. rum in each mug. Add coffee. Top with whipped cream; sprinkle with nutmeg. Do not stir before drinking.


September 20, 2012

Fairy Tell - II

'the keeper'
8x11 colored pencil on paper
date unknown
by: Antonette Victoria Buenaventura

On with another fairy-tell...

Every precious dwelling place deserves the best 'lock and key' and its 'keeper' to protect all the material, spiritual and moral valuables within it.

Our physical body being the temple of our soul and the greatest masterpiece The Supreme Being has ever created is designed with a specialized 'key' located at the innermost core of it.  A powerful source of life that emits warmth to our basic instincts thus signals what and who can actually enter the sacred 'premises'. It is called 'heart'.

Our soul, our heart and our body interpreted consecutively as the lock, the key and the keeper. Together they perform perfection... a life measured on its highest esteem... a MAGIC!

So who would be needing wings to fly or magic and powerful wands to turn pumpkins to sparkling coach or fairy dust to make wishes come true?.. bibbidi-bobbidy-boo!

A pure and clean heart is the answer.

What the heart says

I would like to state a small discourse regarding matters of the heart. The expression of one’s feelings, to be precise. If we are to look and emphasize more of our subject, let’s say that the given setting is now. It underlies various mitigating factors. The question emerges: in the expression of affection towards one, do I go on with what I feel or should I consider what society morally tells me to do?

For a stroked guy with limited wisdom like me, I’d rather go with what I feel. Even if it’s entirely wrong. It is/was society that marked it as wrong, anyway. It is the same crossing entity which captures us and injects us with morality.

Our freedom to express love becomes one-sided. The distinction of what is right or wrong in the expression of love acts like a blindfold. It holds and bars our thirsting desire to express our feelings. Take off that cloud of morality and express that true love.


Brain faculties acting in such an erratic way giving me fear. Fear thus makes me thought of having accepting the reality that almost every one close to my heart have left me. The bitter truth slowly sank through my being. Is it going to be like this each time?

Accepting is the hardest part of it. You consciously know this possibility, but why does it have to be so soon? Why are there circumstances that binds you and holds you together, then, in a blink of an eye, you find yourself all alone. The memories are all that is left hanging in your thoughts.

Again, for me, this halt made me respond to the call to enjoy and cherish the people who are still around me. We won’t last long just like the others so might as well treasure every passing moment of it. Don’t let time hinder you from loving a little bit more. It lessens the fear.


Watching the finale of the 2012 US Masterchef was an eye opener for me. The winner, Christine Ha, displayed not just her culinary prowess but her being able to inspire other people. Christine, for your information, is blind. Well, anybody can cook even when blind, but to compete against some of the great amateur cooks across US is certainly a great feat.

I also watched her Masterchef journey. Christine Ha is picture of hope and determination. She served as an inspiration to all in pursuing their dreams in spite of the hardships, in her case, the handicap of being visually impaired.

Christine Ha proved that obstacles are just like dust that needs to be wiped out. It is through our motivation and unending will that the possibility of reaching our goal in life is achieved. May those hindrances turn into something positive that would make our lives much happier and worth living.

Love today

As James Ingram would ask, how do you keep the music playing? Being in a relationship is quite challenging, especially in terms of keeping it in trying, complicated and modern lives that we live in. The way our modern tradition revolutionized a mean or two affecting our personal lives, our relationships to be precise, now are entirely different.

Love becomes secondary. It just sprouts out after our need for money, power and other reassuring things. I’m just being true here that those relationships today are built and made just for the sake of an agenda. Labelling?

A relationship based on complete trust and pure love, sad to say, is rare nowadays. That is why love quotes, relationship quotes and such the like clog social media sites nowadays. It tells us that having a relationship isn’t about money or other modernized means alone. It’s about the giving of pure and unblemished affection to the one needing it.


Stepped on profusely

For living fully

From the freedom that I enjoy

Wasted I now employ

Sworn to
By the things I used to do

All gone even the few

Left nothing with me

Death now I see

Creeping at me

Roar of a strange voice

I have to make a choice

It’s going to take a while
Or I guess eternity
To realize

Better get ready
For what might
Turn to vice

Stayed away from
But I won’t adhere

This broken
Perception of fear

Though rejected
Stand up will I

And cease to when I die

September 19, 2012


Ambitions. They are processes which bring out our attitude toward a goal; they could be transformed into success, contentment or self satisfaction. Ambitions are resulted in proper handling and good execution of our actions.

More often than not, an ambition brings out hunger and further clouds our reasoning. It blinds our normal way of thinking as well how we interact with other human beings. Having an ambition isn’t that bad as long as it is done and reached in a humane way.

It is also a way to gauge our want to succeed in life or this to make our lives better. Our approach or how well we treat our aspirations makes up who we are. Our success or downfall on our ambitions should not pinpoint to someone else’s cause but rather to us and to no one else alone. They are best achieved through a subjective pattern of living. Ambitions are good when they are good.


This would sound blasphemous to many of you but at least, be subjective and perceive the reality. As only a piece of my handful re-post, I’d like to discuss the over debated, limitless and boring to some (I don’t want to be disrespectful), subject of God.

If he exists, as countless scholars from the academe and the religious have proven in their own or consensual procedures, I would like to ask, does he/she/it care at all? The presence of famine, small and large scale terrorism, greed, lust, and other signs of an unruly world can conclude that we are of complete turmoil. Does God know this? Is he willing to save us? And if salvation is true, when will it be?

Whether God has its plans or the question of mere existence of him is under scrutiny, all I can say is do good for yourself and for others. I believe that God, existent or not, would be glad if we give and share our goodwill to others so that we may be worth with or without God.

The Zero Factor

Who can forget the US’s Zero Factor?  It gives a chilling effect stating that no US President elected in a year ending in zero left the White House alive. 

It started in 1940 when Henry Harrison caught a cold that drastically developed into pneumonia that eventually led to his untimely death only a month after his inauguration.

1860 was Abraham Lincoln’s year.  I guess we all know already how he died.  He was shot at a theater in Washington.  1880 was for James Garfield.  He was also shot by a guy named Guiteau.  He hardly reached six (6) months in office when he died.  William Mckinley came to office in 1900. He too suffered that brutal fate when he was shot by an anarchist at an exposition in New York. 

US’s 1920 President, Warren Harding also died at a speaking engagement tour in the West.  Speculations about the cause of his illness and death are still unknown up to now.

The US President that was re-elected four (4) times, Franklin Theodore Roosevelt, was elected in 1940.  He died in 1945 after collapsing at his work desk at the summer White House.  The next victim would be JFK (John F. Kennedy).  He was elected in 1960.  He was later assassinated. Then both Presidents Thomas Jefferson (1800) and James Monroe (1820) were believed to be the ones who escaped the Zero Factor. 

President Ronald Reagan (1980) survived an assassination attempt and George W. Bush (2000), aside from nearly getting hit by a flying shoe from an irrate Iraqi journalist in Baghdad, have all so far been saved from the “death list”.

Goosebumps? Coincidence?


I had a great chance to watch a new TV series, Perception played by Eric Mccormack and Rachel Leigh Cook. It’s quite interesting for it focuses on how our brain works both in the conscious and subconscious state.

They have an episode which talks about reality and its meaning to an ordinary mind as perceived through a neuro-science professor. He further said that reality is not what is at all. They just are products of our minds all rumbled up together conditioning those to be as it is. But what if those are just unconditioned products then eluded by the brain? Certain events such as hallucinations and dreams instigate.

For all we know, it is real. It was just formed in an unorthodox manner. We sometimes mistake it as not being classified as reality. They do hurt, add blurredness and always left alone. Our perception of reality is cornered to rely on our senses. Understanding how the mind works is like seeing the meaning of reality.


It is almost a way of life on a rather-not-so complicated term, the need and practice for us to look at the past.  Use needlessly our Basal Ganglias and reminisce once in a while.  Although it is more often, we do admit that what we have right now in the present is or was largely because of the past.  And that the differences and reality in the present is or were mainly contributed by the past.  Looking closely, the past is inevitable (not to mention in this analysis is the value of time) to all of us. The simple “tick” of a clock or a second gone is considered as “past”. But how about the future?

We only come to admire the grandeur and the wholeness effect of the past when we open our senses to it.  Aside from the fascinating world of science, history perhaps is one of the best things that ever happened to human existence.  …..nah, let’s forget about it, it’s history anyway. We can’t redo what is done. More importantly, we should treasure the things that we owe our lives to.  Again, what we are now in the present is primarily because of what we were or what we’ve done in the past.

Living in the past cannot be bad at all. Just embrace what you have right now and be thankful for it.

September 18, 2012

Nothing is permanent in life

In addition to my search for what is the subconscious unknown entity only known as mere ideas, I am drawn to post this quite intriguing question; are all things existent or not, have and end? My limited thinking brings me back repeatedly to the reality that there is absolutely none that lasts forever.

This idealism brings speck of hope in all of us if we are to look in a more positive perspective. All our problems, worries and anxiety are just temporary. They exist maybe to test our human adaptability to pressure or being into tight circumstances. Emerging into these temporary instances or being jailed unto those asserts what kind of person are we. It thus, makes or breaks us.

But no matter how intense they are or how enormous is it, don’t let them ruin you. Just as stated earlier, these worries are just temporary and will not last long. It all too shall come to pass.


In my own belief, I had my share of what this life has to offer, at least temporarily or those sheltered in my stroked being. I obviously can’t say that mistakes are all bad for some of them were mistakes learned and remembered as lessons in life.

It is quite true that God or somebody up there allows us to make mistakes sometimes. Looking closely, it is through them that our minds are opened to the realization that each one of us can turn those mishaps into something beneficial. We just have to develop looking through the bright and beneficial side of things.

Being able to recover from a drastic event in life and turning it to your advantage emits strength and wilful disposition. Lessons in life don’t have to be taught in school always for experience alone is always said to be the best teacher. Learn life by experiencing it to the fullest.


The child in me can’t wait anymore.

It is that time of the year once again when people are busy as ants preparing for this grand event. Each one is in a festive mode. All of a sudden, problems and worries are taken aside, issues are taken in high hopes of being resolved, and for once in every year in man’s existence in this world, there is love and peace all over.  Christmas it is.

 To some, it is an opportunity and a chance to give hope one more try to make its way through our hearts.  Luckily enough, this miraculous day does not let us down. More issues are addressed, in all aspects of human condition at least, even for a day.

Our personalities can ever be so grateful in this wonderful event that enveloped us. And just like a small kid that pulls her mother’s skirt to ask or beg, we sometimes do wish that Christmas will ideally be with us all year long for it gives joy, hope and peace to all.



Am I deaf, can’t hear a thing
Mute sound wave it brings
All I hear is myself
A murmur, not a hush from a teff

Nor speak, I cannot do
Tied by words I used to
Can’t say or simply express
My medium became suddenly meaningless

A quickened darkness
I felt in all my senses
All of a sudden, blankness filled my mind
Destroyed everything bind

My body started trembling
Then after a while...nothing
Numbness all around
In a state of shock, at once astound

Death may have visited
But not exactly as expected
In taking me all completely
He played with mediocrity

Wrong in strategy
Leaving me well and lively
My brain still reasons
Will survive with less function

Now I may be disabled
But still, I have the knowledge
I may be wrongfully labelled
This fight for life, though temporary, I pledge

Making hay as the sun shine
Doing things as long as they’re fine
Smelling the flowers as I have told
Enjoy life, cherish the gold...

September 17, 2012


"one calm night in fairyland"
9x12 , colored pencil on paper
March 11, 2005
by: Antonette Victoria Buenaventura

Being my elder sister's 'shadow and echo', I literally copied whatever she did and almost everything she said in my presence. So when she started schooling at the age of 5, I did too, attending the same classes with her as 'saling pusa' as elders call it that time. I was only 3 years old then.

There's this retro story my mom would always tell. She said from out of the blue, I told my teacher, "Ma’am, my name is Wendy and I live with the elves in mushroom houses". Funny how 'big' people reacted on it, that my teacher even worriedly told my mom the possibility that me having imaginary friends.

No. It's a world I created where I won't be requiring my 'ate' (sister) to look up to and get my personality from.  It's a world where I am me.

In my 39 years of existence in this pseudo world or ours, there is only one thing I didn't outgrow. Those years of 'pain and gain' that never stopped me from believing. I do believe in fairies... I do... I do.

Heaven to me...

by AVB

I don’t know but my being rude to literary rules dominated once again. Pardon me for being shallow. It’s just that I was inspired by the flash of charismatic persona encased in an unnatural body. An angel, I guess.

Knowing you know me
That in return you gladly
Is heaven to me

To know that you’re by my side
Calms me instantly
Is heaven to me

All that’s in you
Your whole personality
Is heaven to me

Your face such a wonder
The smile....oh, gee...
Is heaven to me

The air you exhume
Captures me completely
Is heaven to me

Just by seeing you there
Though I’m not worthy
Is heaven to me

Noticing me above everyone
Makes me proud and happy
Is heaven to me

You are, of course
An awe ideally
Is heaven to me


Hearing and feeling the windy rain again reminded me of a reality that we have to face – life’s troubles and worries. We are bombarded by, make or destroy us, we can choose to deny it or embrace it, face it or pass it. For our betterment, some of us find a source of strength in those.

It acts like a shadow hounding us. I, wonder, who causes them in the first place? Is it us or some external factor? Can this ever end? If it will, when will it be? Raising queries such those adds up to our worries. Thus, leads me to an immediate solution to this dilemma. Just try to stop asking questions. Searching answers to those questions worries and troubles us more adding insult to injury. And how can knowledge fortify itself without the existence of ignorance? Make your questions worth. Don’t make it too absurd to justify. Make it tangible.

Our troubles and worries are, to say the least, all of our same doings. Taking full and humane responsibility in dealing with them by seeing them as part of your life or having them beside you to challenge the ‘YOU’ from within is a great way to start overcoming  and declaring  triumph over it. 


by AVB

I’m once again being raped and molested by unfortunate events. At times that I crave for abundant ideas, it is there that nothingness came. It mauled my shanty piece of mind and tried to ruin my hopes of being somebody.

Even my stroked being wasn’t spared. It manipulated my body by inviting it to be still and do nothing in spite numerous calls from my telling it to move a limb. I must admit that adhering to these made me thought of the future. I may not be as I am right now for fear of losing everything.

I instantly grab, tied and threw out those random thoughts and decided not to go with ideas of those kind. Tests come really unto you when you least expect it. It attacks more on your weaknesses. So it’s best to be always equipped with strong will and perseverance. Having a clear frame of mind would be well welcomed. 


Gasping for that ‘second wind’ as if it was true, I managed again to burst out realities, fictions and some quite obvious but unseen happenings in life. And again, forgive my deepened operatic insanity.

Can you explain the unexplained? Yes. The fact that it was unexplained is a mere explanation.


Which value most today? Skill or attitude?


Try this for a change...listen to Ebben – Le Andro Lontana


Failure is not an option. Nobody opts to fail, in the first place.


Dearness comes worthiness.

Never give people false hopes. Don’t aggravate their current expectations by presenting them with a hoax one.


Our perception sometimes tricks us.


When you leave, carry faith with you.


And understanding too...


And have a nice day!

September 16, 2012

Stop & Go

I would like to state a small discourse regarding matters of the heart. The expression of one’s feelings, to be precise. If we are to look and emphasize more of our subject, let’s say that the given setting is now. It underlies various mitigating factors. The question emerges: in the expression of affection towards one, do I go on with what I feel or should I consider what society morally tells me to do?

For a stroked guy with limited wisdom like me, I’d rather go with what I feel. Even if it’s entirely wrong. It is/was society that marked it as wrong, anyway. It is the same crossing entity which captures us and injects us with morality.

by AVB

Our freedom to express love becomes one-sided. The distinction of what is right or wrong in the expression of love acts like a blindfold. It holds and bars our thirsting desire to express our feelings. Take off that cloud of morality and express that true love.


by AVB

Why do we promise or swear? Is it some sort of assurance or guaranty we give to assert something to another? Is it a form of temporary withdrawal from reality? An escape mechanism perhaps?

Why do we say we do, but we really don’t? Or why is it that we don’t but we actually do? We say we can but we can’t or the other way around. There are things we must but instead, we mustn’t.

Every word and action counts. You are responsible for it. Try not lashing out false hopes and broken promises. It affects your being in return. It also damages your and others’ reputation. Learn to value those. Simple or how complicated they may be, they are images of the real you as perceived by others. It further makes you worthy of trust from other individual.

We cannot expect one to always adhere on what you say, so please, don’t break that promise.


Holy Gospel

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Mark 8:27-35. 

Jesus and his disciples set out for the villages of Caesarea Philippi. Along the way he asked his disciples, «Who do people say that I am?» 

They said in reply, "John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others one of the prophets." 

And he asked them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter said to him in reply, "You are the Messiah." 

Then he warned them not to tell anyone about him. 

He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days.

He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 

At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do." 

He summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it.